Every day, every time, every meal,
Self-producing aliens are in my kitchen. Oh, my dear!
They keep producing and producing, I feel
Without feeling that they are too much to deal
I try to ignore them and stop them in real
But their presence suffocates me and pollutes my air
Dish soap is the chemo that I use to treat these tumors in my domicile
In Biology, I’ve studied that Chemotherapy kills growing cells and combats cancer
Maybe I need those chemicals to kill dishes for real
They neither reproduce sexually nor asexually, so their way is new and ideal
I’m not crazy, mommy! The dishes are fast-self-reproducers, I’m sincere!
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Dear scientists, just confess that they are reproducing
Therefore, if they are breeding, biologists will approve that they are living
Uhm, if you are asking about what kind of species would it be in classifying
I would say it is dishes and utensils specie; the kitchen’s beasts that are horrifying
Please, don’t say I’m crazy; I’m studying and proving what I’m hypothesizing
Am I crazy? No, I’m not crazy YET.
Someone in the kitchen’s sink is conspiring!
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In fact, last night, I did my great scientific experience, which is my proof and my key.
In biology, the professor taught us that in the dark, bacteria are free
So, I turned off the light and left some dishes on the sink’s sea
They stayed there for the whole night; they were three
This morning, there were six, which means the double of three
Oh! I’m so sad; nobody believes me
Doesn’t six equal three plus three?
I’m sure I’m not yet crazy!
No one understands my profound melancholy
I say dishes are living, yes, they are living, I see
They seem too kind and quiet, I agree
They are quiet when they’re clean but savage when they’re dirty
I’ve seen them alive; they are alive in the sink’s sea
I always have to get to these dishes before they get to me
They keep attacking my clean sink and attacking me
Dear scientists, I eavesdropped on their conversations secretly
I heard their commander’s plea
He was whistling in their happy little society
He was putting a plan to develop dishes’ DNA
These cruel creatures are planning to reproduce faster than ever. Just believe me!
Soon, we will maybe compete with dishes in our society
If now they are cute and small, tomorrow they’ll be the hugest at all
Finally, I’m just kidding. I get sometimes crazy; I know that dishes cannot be living!
