Category: Plays

CHARACTERS 
FATHER RUKA: Priest, male, 70. Wears a black cassock, a rosary in his left hand. Talks with 
a deep voice. 
FUMU: Woman, 50. Black teeth. Clothed in a colorful grass skirt. Wears three horn pieces of 
jewelry on the neck. Holds a big black broomstick. 
KORO: Altar server, male, 15. Clothed in a white dress. Wears big glasses. Speaks softly. 
SETTING 
A small confessional with two compartments. In the priest’s compartment, there is a 
comfortable chair of heavy structure. In the penitent’s compartment, there is a rudimentary 
wooden chair and kneeler. A small window enables both parties to communicate easily. A 
smooth piano is being played, thirty minutes before the mass starts. 
Ruka is already in the confessional. Fumu comes in a hurry and sits in the penitent 
compartment. 
FUMU: Good evening man of God. (her voice is agitated) 
FATHER RUKA: Good morning my daughter. (he talks with hesitation) 
FUMU: Ooh I even forgot that it’s a morning, sorry my dear. 
FATHER RUKA: My daughter, is it your first time in a confessional? 
FUMU: Yes it’s my first time; how did you guess? I like your voice though! 
FATHER RUKA: Your choice of word is unusual… 
FUMU: (Overlap.) Excuse me? How do you want me to talk to you? 
FATHER RUKA: I can understand, it’s your first time here, daughter. Please go ahead and 
confess your sins. 
FUMU: You people are awkward. I have been respectful and kind enough to call you my 
dear, but apparently, you don’t like it; and out of nowhere, you just called me your daughter. 
FATHER RUKA: Please, ma’am, I have a mass to lead in a few minutes. I don’t have time to 
argue with you about that. 
(Ruka shades his face to avoid looking at her, He leans his left ear on the small window and 
listens to her) 
FUMU: How come I can’t see your face? Are you afraid of me? 
FATHER RUKA: My daughter, I can’t look at you during confession. 
(Fumu stands up and shakes her head) 
FUMU: Unbelievable! That’s why I can’t come to church. You guys are so strange. 
FATHER RUKA: (takes a deep breath) Please, I am listening. What has been bothering you? 
(Fumu sits on her chair) 
FUMU: Okay, I need something from you. 
FATHER RUKA: Nothing to confess? 
FUMU: Why would I confess? I want something from you, Are you sitting on your ears or 
what? 
FATHER RUKA: (Confused)…but, but this is a confessional! This is not a market, and please 
mind your tongue. 
FUMU: (Ruka stands up and takes his bible) What? Do you know who you are talking to? 
FUMU: Oh you want to leave? Haha, you will have to listen to me or….? 
FATHER RUKA: Or what? Are you threatening me? 
FUMU: You shouldn’t provoke my anger. 
(Ruka sits down slowly) 
FATHER RUKA: It’s written in the bible that we should only fear God who can destroy both 
soul and body in hell. 
FUMU: I am telling you, don’t underestimate my powers! 
FATHER RUKA: (chuckles) Please don’t waste my time. 
FUMU: I might turn you into a rat. (she whispers) 
FATHER RUKA: What? I feel the devil in your voice. Holly Baba! 
(He begins to pray) 
FUMU: I am Fumu, the deputy leader of the Mumbi wizardry center. So, you better listen to 
me. 
(Silence, several beats) 
FATHER RUKA: Holly blood of Jesus! 
FUMU: You still don’t want to look at me? 
FATHER RUKA: (He sings) Jesus…Jesus..Jeee.. suuus 
FUMU: (overlap.) And you are such a bad singer. Ugh! 
FATHER RUKA: Fumu, please leave this holy place. 
FUMU: Interesting, so now you don’t call me your daughter? 
FATHER RUKA: You are still my daughter. Please tell me what you want. 
FUMU: Okay. By the way, I have seen you doing shady stuff, hmmm. (She fondles her broom 
and smiles) 
FATHER RUKA: Jesus! What do you mean? 
FUMU: The mayor’s daughter…hmm. 
FATHER RUKA: Wha.. what? 
FUMU: (She raises her voice) You aren’t supposed to have a girlfriend, MAN OF GOD 
FATHER RUKA: Please, please lower your voice. How you? 
FUMU: (overlap) know? Ooh, I was flying on my broomstick the other day; I think I saw you 
more than three times with her. 
FATHER RUKA: Okay, do you want money? 
FUMU: Hahaha, the man of God is bribing me. 
FATHER RUKA: What do you want? Please don’t tell anyone. 
FUMU: Unless you provide me with what I want. 
FATHER RUKA: (Talks with anger) 
What do you want? 
FUMU: Shut…I want your hair and nails. 
FATHER RUKA: Why? 
FUMU: For some rituals. 
FATHER RUKA: But why me? 
FUMU: You should ask my superior. I have been told to bring a priest’s hair and left-hand 
nails, and I chose you because you won’t say no after all…hmmm. 
FATHER RUKA: Oh my God, it’s already ten past six, I am late for the mass. Please can you 
come another day? 
FUMU: You serious? Hahaha. 
FATHER RUKA: Please, I beg. 
FUMU: It won’t take long, I brought scissors; come closer, I will begin by your hair. 
(Ruka brings his head closer to the small window. Fumu passes her hand through the window 
and begins to cut his hair.) 
FUMU: You do have beautiful white hair. 
FATHER RUKA: (stage whispering)This is torture. 
(Koro comes in a hurry. He directly enters the priest compartment) 
KORO: Father, you are late for the mass! But,..what.. is happening here? 
(Koro takes a look at the other compartment and Fumu smiles at him with her black teeth) 
KORO: Jesuuuuuuus, who are you? Why are you shaving Father’s hair? 
FUMU: You don’t need to know. 
FATHER RUKA: Please son, go, I will be back in a few minutes. 
KORO: (He screams) What is happening here? 
FUMU: Ooh, shut up! 
KORO: Noo, leave my father in peace! Who are you? 
FUMU: Father, tell him to not upset me. I am done with the hair, bring the hand now. 
(He passes his left hand through the window) 
FATHER RUKA: Koro, please, go. I will tell you later. 
KORO: Father, should I call security? 
FATHER RUKA: (Ruka yells at him) ENOUGH KORO 
(Fumu stands up quietly and just leaves her compartment, no one sees her leaving the stage) 
KORO: By the way, where is she? 
FATHER RUKA: Oh my GOD, she disappeared. 
(he looks at his nails; tears spill down his cheeks, he lifts his face, his eyes meet Koro’s) 
KORO: Are we in a movie? Was she a witch? She looked like one. 
FATHER RUKA: I did not see what she looked like, but she was one. 
KORO: What prevented you from chasing her demons? 
FATHER RUKA: Enough, Koro. 
KORO: Anyways, we are twenty minutes late for the mass. 
FATHER RUKA: I am not going to lead the mass. 
KORO: What? Why are you crying? 
FATHER RUKA: Priests cry, priests love, priests get tired, priests are human beings. 
KORO: Father, Christians are waiting for us. 
FATHER RUKA: 50 years serving the Lord, don’t you think I should retire? 
( Father Ruka stands up and leaves the confessional) 
END OF PLAY