It’s three in the morning. It is cold, and the night sky is full of shining stars and there is a beautiful full moon. She is sitting alone, the wind blowing in her hair and a cigarette in her hand. She looks at the moon as if it’s her savior. Her eyes are shining while you can see the pain in her red puffy eyes. She has short black hair, a round face, a tiny nose, and very small eyes but there is a whole other world hiding inside. She’s young and beautiful but there is much more to her than that.
During one of the hardest years in the 21st century, the year when we had to contradict our social nature and lock ourselves for months to prevent our death or our beloved ones’, this girl had the chance to stay with herself and accept herself fully. This solitude made her finally discover herself or herself(s). She lived in a conservative family, who is very loving and caring but also very sexist and racist. She had different lives, the one that her family sees which is a perfect daughter and student who is positive and always happy and motivated. However, there was another side of her which is a depressed girl with a personality disorder that no one knows about, not even her parents. She kept fighting every single day to make everyone happy and satisfied. She was everyone’s favorite but she never felt happy or that she belongs somewhere. She was always lost and indecisive. She got stuck in a deep and dark hole. She didn’t feel happy, free, or had the sensation of belonging, and at that exact moment, she decided that she wanted to change her life, leave everything behind and leave the country.
She didn’t dare to tell her parents and two little brothers that she will leave the whole country forever, so she just decided to escape. She never left the house before, never traveled alone, she had no idea what to do, it felt like she was throwing herself in a big jungle full of beasts. She gathered the necessities like her phone, her ID card, her wallet, and a few clothing items. She spent hours crying at night while thinking of the idea of leaving the life that she has now, leave everyone behind and go seek a brighter future. The goal she was trying to achieve is to have freedom, to be respected and accepted no matter how different her opinion is, she wanted to be heard, she believed that she has a lot to give to the world but unfortunately she didn’t have the chance to do so in her own country.
She was brave enough to hit the roads and get closer to her destination which is Spain. She kept saving money for years to migrate to Spain illegally. She took a big risk, she put her family, life, and future in danger but she kept trying to reach the other side of the world no matter how bad can the consequences be. The poor girl was alone, hopeless, and scared, she doubted her decision so many times but a voice in her head always keeps telling her that there’s a bright side and that’s where she belongs. She got on a train heading to the north. She was the only young girl on the bus. She was terrified of the old men looking at her as if she was prey. After many hours on the bus, looking at the night sky, wondering what’s on the other side, she finally had hope that she will show the world how great she is and how much of a difference she can make. The bus arrives at the destination, on her way out of the bus, an old bold man came running and stole her bag that has all her belongings, she was left with no money and no clothes. She sat on the streets crying and asking God to help her wake up from this nightmare. The poor girl had nowhere to stay and nothing to eat. She stayed up the whole night sitting on a bench in a park while watching everyone who comes and goes because she is scared for her life. She kept thinking about what to do next because she has nothing and no one. However, this girl doesn’t give up, in the morning she went to a cafe to ask for work and with her intelligence and looks she easily got the job. She started working at the cafe all day long, getting harassed by every male customer, she hated her life but she kept holding on until she gets enough money to realize her dreams and go to Spain. She used to work all day and then sleeps in the café when it closes, she spends a small amount of money on food and keeps the rest for her long journey to Spain.
She kept working so hard for 6 months until she finally had enough money to ride that little boat and reach her destination and she went for it. She met a guy, gave him money and he told her to come next to the beach at 4 am. At that moment, she realized that things are getting real, she was scared but also excited. At the indicated time she went to start her journey, there washer, old men, some families even kids, they all headed to the water and got in a tiny boat where they can barely fit in. The weather was cold, the moon was so bright and everyone was so happy. At first, everything seemed fine; they were moving and getting closer to the dream country. However, the sea was getting more aggressive, the waves were big, a lot of water was getting in the boat, everyone was freaking out, the kids were crying. At that moment, the girl was reconsidering her whole life, she thought about her family and friends, people she left to pursue her dream but also risk her life. She was thinking that that’s the end and all she was wishing for is just one last hug from her mother, she regretted not telling her father how much she loves and appreciates him, she regretted not being there for her brothers and letting them down, she regretted not staying in her country and work to make the situation better instead of completely leaving it and her whole life behind. As the water gets higher she is praying to God for forgiveness and wishing her family will be alright. As she drowns in the water, she looks around and sees desperate people who wanted to have ‘the golden life’ and were ready to risk it all, and now they are fighting to take a breath and survive. As she struggles to take a breath, the Oxygen stopped reaching her brain, it turned off and the last thing she pictured washer whole family, she thought about how much she loves them and how much she will be missing them forever and only wishes she can go back in time and just change her decision and stay in the warmth and protection of her family.
Sometimes in life, we make some life-changing decision without considering what’s gonna come in our path, we all want to achieve our goals but sometimes we go too fast and won’t realize that we made the wrong decision until it’s too late to go back. The majority of people think about leaving their country at least once. Those people on the boat thought that going abroad was going to solve all their problems, they would be treated respectfully and would gain a good amount of money that would allow them to live the life that they always dream about but that’s not the truth if you want to succeed you need to work so hard no matter where you are and that’s the only way you can make it in life and be the best version of yourself.
