Why don’t children understand their future prince? Why don’t adults tell you that you will never meet your prince charming in a park and that everything will change? And when you become a teenager everything will be different. You open your eyes and everything is changed, you feel like the world is upside-down like the feeling of embarrassment and weirdness when the teacher asks you a question, and you don’t know the answer. At that moment, you feel like you are a teen. And you are, but the weirdness and unclarity underneath you puts you right back in your childhood body.
Some days, you might say something so childish, and that’s a part of you. You couldn’t get rid of it. I wish I could take it off as I would with my coat after a rainy day. Some nights, you hide on your parent’s blanket when it is thundering outside. Other times, you cry like a hungry baby when you fail a test. But that’s just part of your childhood, and you as well. This is the thing people never explain, it is okay to be childish because it’s who you are.
Back in the old days, when I wasn’t a teenage girl, my brain was filled with childish thoughts that caused many conflicts in my life. Today, I find myself wishing I was a baby instead of being a teen. This is because if I was a child, it would be okay fantasizing about meeting my prince charming. I’ve always thought that I would meet my prince charming in the most advent possible like Sleeping Beauty and other fairy tales. For example: Walking my dog in the park even though I don’t have a dog. Maybe exercising at the gym, even though I haven’t renewed my membership in 2 years. Or at least a more realistic one like at the bank while I was held hostage in an armed robbery. He could be one of the robbers of course because…why not?
We all had these fantasies about meeting the perfect person for us, especially as
children when we start creating our own list of criteria they need to have. “Knows how to cook, takes care of themselves, hasn’t been to jail, has blue bright eyes like the sky, smooth hair as silk, tall as a giraffe, skin as soft as butter” 6-year-old me says, and all of my friends agreeing and writing their own list of criteria on their “private/secret journal” even though that was just our math notebook.
But as time passes and we feel more and more lonely as teenagers, we start to slightly adjust our criteria to be less demanding as we’re smashed by reality. “Knows how to cook” becomes “Likes to eat what I like”, “Takes care of themselves ” becomes “Rather less gross than me”, and ” Hasn’t been to jail” becomes “At least manslaughter isn’t deliberate!” says 14-year-old me.
The funny thing is that no matter how much we adjust our criteria, we will never be satisfied because we deserve better…or so we think. We deserve the best humanity has to offer and obviously it has to be free. Sadly most of us don’t get the best the world has to offer. Instead, we get the “it’s better than nothing” mindset and we learn how to compromise. It’s normal. No offense to anyone. But we end up with the guy that has a steady job but is as fat as Coca-Cola can. The gorgeous girl with green eyes and blonde hair but stupid as a rock. And that kind of disturbing person that you hope and pray is not a serial killer, even though some part of you knows that he is.
“I am a teen, I am a teen, I have grown up and I have to be mature. ” I tell myself every night before sleeping. That’s why for these reasons, I decided to stop looking for my future prince charming; Because we all deserve better. I’m skipping all this process and decided to live my life focusing only on my happiness and my future. Mainly, I will not, and never care about other people’s opinions, even though a part of me knows that it’s impossible. But at least, I’ll try.
Today I am a teen, and I regret it. I wished I was a child so this mistake won’t matter. Inside me, there is a child who still believes that I might meet my prince charming in a castle. Inside me, I’m still hopeful that there I will randomly forget a shoe on a prom in order for the “future prince charming” to look for me in a Cinderella fantasy.
To finish my story, which has passed in glory, I thought my story was guilty. But in fact, it is nasty. It mostly shows how no matter how strong and independent I want to be, there will always be a child in me, wishing to live through the magical words we read about that never grow elderly. Never worry about your prince charming Lori or Kourtney. Because trust me you will end up waiting until you have white hair worrying about who is your prince thorny.
