{"id":576,"date":"2023-03-21T19:30:28","date_gmt":"2023-03-21T19:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/?p=576"},"modified":"2023-03-21T19:30:28","modified_gmt":"2023-03-21T19:30:28","slug":"%d9%81%d9%8a-%d8%b3%d9%86-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b9%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%8a%d9%86","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/?p=576","title":{"rendered":"\u0641\u064a \u0633\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u0644\u0642\u062f \u0643\u0627\u0646 \u062e\u0637\u0623 \u062c\u0633\u064a\u0645\u0627\u064b \u0627\u0644\u062e\u0648\u0636\u064f \u0641\u064a \u0645\u0639\u0631\u0643\u0629\u064d \u062e\u0627\u0633\u0631\u0629\u064d\u060c \u0648\u0641\u064a \u062d\u0631\u0628\u064d \u0648\u0636\u0639\u062a \u0623\u0648\u0632\u0627\u0631\u0647\u0627 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\u062d\u0631\u0628\u064c \u0630\u0627\u062a \u063a\u064e\u0645\u0631\u064d \u0639\u0648\u0650\u064a\u0635\u064d \u0648\u062f\u0627\u0645\u064d\u060c \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u062c\u064e\u0631\u0645 \u0623\u0646\u0651\u064e\u0646\u0650\u064a \u0645\u0646 \u062e\u0627\u0633\u0631\u064a\u0647\u0627. \u0648\u062d\u062a\u0649 \u0644\u0648 \u0643\u0627\u0646 \u0634\u0631\u0641\u064f \u0627\u0644\u0645\u062d\u0627\u0648\u0644\u0629 \u0628\u0650\u0636\u0639\u0627\u064b \u0645\u0646 \u062d\u0631\u0628\u064d\u060c \u0641\u0625\u0646 \u0630\u0644\u0643 \u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0639\u0646\u064a \u0634\u064a\u0626\u0627 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0625\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642\u0650 \u0628\u0639\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0622\u0646. \u0641\u064a \u0633\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646\u060c \u0630\u0644\u0643 \u0644\u064e\u0645 \u064a\u0639\u064f\u062f \u0623\u0644\u0645\u0627\u064b\u060c \u0628\u0644 \u0623\u0635\u0628\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0648\u062a\u064e \u0628\u0639\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0646\u0650\u0647\u0650. \u0641\u064a \u0633\u0646\u0651\u0650 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0650\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646\u060c \u0642\u064e\u0636\u064e\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0641\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0649<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">It was a grave mistake to take part of a losing battle, and in a war that ended some time ago. I do not know why, nor how, nor when these faults took root. It was like making a man an empty palm tree: I perceived everything, and this made me perceive nothing. And as soon as I knew it, I could not escape it, even if I knew what I&#8217;m escaping from, why I&#8217;m escaping, and to what I&#8217;m escaping from. It was like a bedridden patient : biologically alive, but clinically dead. Or as a patient on medication, or a psychotic patient. They were all corpses, breathing, but died from sickness, awareness, or turmoil. It was like a prisoner of war staring at his robe defiled with dirt and blood, examining his bleeding wounds profusely. And the moment he realized how bad the situation was, at that very moment, only then did he realize that he was on the verge of a grave pit, and even if he survived, he would inevitably face the enemy&#8217;s grip. At that exact moment, he realized his impotence. And as much as his wounds bleed, the awareness mixed with impotence is firmly established deep down. This is painful, very painful. We do not learn from pain, nor do we develop with pain, but rather die and burn out of it, even if you think that pain is degrees. At the age of twenty, it was hard to realize this, and it was hard to lose all the weapon. At the age of twenty, fighting in a losing battle was an unforgivable mistake, and life would be paid for it. At the age of twenty, I had the unfortunate and pitiful realization that for what sin was I killed, for what sin was I the object of doubts, and for what reason was I burned and tortured, and for what fault was I slaughtered twice. At the age of twenty, it felt like living a hundred years. Life is a difficult and bloody war, and I am not undoubtedly one of the losers in it. Even if the honor of trying was a part of the war, that means nothing at all anymore. At the age of twenty, that is no longer a pain, but rather a literal death. At the age of twenty, the boy passed away.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 \u0644\u0642\u062f \u0643\u0627\u0646 \u062e\u0637\u0623 \u062c\u0633\u064a\u0645\u0627\u064b \u0627\u0644\u062e\u0648\u0636\u064f \u0641\u064a \u0645\u0639\u0631\u0643\u0629\u064d \u062e\u0627\u0633\u0631\u0629\u064d\u060c \u0648\u0641\u064a \u062d\u0631\u0628\u064d \u0648\u0636\u0639\u062a \u0623\u0648\u0632\u0627\u0631\u0647\u0627 \u0645\u0646\u0630\u064f \u062d\u064a\u0646. \u0644\u0633\u062a \u0623\u062f\u0631\u064a \u0644\u0645\u0627\u0630\u0627\u060c \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u0643\u064a\u0641\u060c \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u0645\u062a\u0649 \u062a\u064e\u0623\u064e\u0635\u0651\u064e\u0644\u064e\u062a\u0652 \u0647\u0630\u0647 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0639\u0637\u0627\u0628. \u0644\u0642\u062f \u0643\u0627\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0645\u0631 \u0623\u0634\u0628\u0647 \u0628\u062c\u0639\u0644 \u0627\u0644\u0625\u0646\u0633\u0627\u0646 \u062c\u0650\u0630\u0652\u0639\u064e \u0646\u062e\u0644\u064d \u062e\u0627\u0648\u064d: \u062d\u064a\u062b \u0623\u064e\u062f\u0631\u064e\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f \u0643\u0644 \u0634\u064a\u0621\u060c \u0648\u0647\u0630\u0627 \u062c\u0639\u0644\u0646\u064a \u0623\u064f\u062f\u0652\u0631\u0650\u0643\u064f \u0644\u0627 \u0634\u064a\u0621. \u0648\u0628\u0645\u062c\u0631\u062f \u0623\u0646 \u0639\u064e\u0631\u0650\u0641\u062a\u064f \u0630\u0644\u0643\u060c \u0644\u0645 \u064a\u0643\u064f\u0646 \u0628\u0645\u0642\u062f\u0648\u0631\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0647\u0631\u0648\u0628\u060c \u0648\u062d\u062a\u0649 \u0644\u0648 \u0639\u0631\u0650\u0641\u062a\u064f \u0645\u0645 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/?p=576\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;\u0641\u064a \u0633\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_ppma_block_editor_authors":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[6],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-short-stories"],"authors":[{"term_id":6,"user_id":5,"is_guest":0,"slug":"rimtouaghed04","display_name":"Rim Touaghed","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/58e17d1118eae3b2c5859a39cbea129dc24e4ec758d883a03934593e02ba33d1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","author_category":"","user_url":"","last_name":"Touaghed","first_name":"Rim","job_title":"","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":577,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions\/577"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fppma_author&post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}