As your silhouette kept destroying my neatly folded thoughts
\nI followed your shadow deep inside the cemetery of my long forgotten memories
\nBut I didn\u2019t find your grave.
\nIt was as if you blossomed into an orchid of secrets,
\nspreading rapidly to every cell, every thought and every breath claiming them back
\nLast time I checked,
\nI thought I ripped your presence from the blue bird that whimpers weakly behind my lungs,
\nI thought I cried your love rivers of insecurities and washed away my heart from your touch
\nYet when I dusted it for your fingertips
\nI found mountains of sweetly poisoned memories
\nI found a box of all the butterfly I had felt whenever you smiled my way
\nI found all the moments that I
\nwas being held helplessly inside the fascinating truths behind your eyes
\nI found all the lies that hid perfectly her silhouette behind your smiles.
\nIt drove me crazy Knowing that she was right in your arms
\nThat I heard her in your voice,
\nThat I smelled her perfume in the corners of your heart.<\/p>\n
I had a crazy dream last night
\nYou were Judas and I was crucified
\nMy hands were nailed to the edges of your deceits
\nstretching back to the first time you showed me what does it mean to love.
\nThey were tied the snowy texture of your heart that suffocated me every time I
\ndipped my feet further in the ocean where you kept all your secrets
\nI was wounded, crying out blood dunked in the color of your face.
\nIt had A lovely shade of betrayal.
\nA nice hue of lies.
\nIn my dream, I screamed you name for infinity
\nI whispered you to every bottle of wine,
\nI looked for you on every dance floor,
\nI rearranged the stars,
\nrealigned the planets,
\nhoping that this time my luck would change;
\nBut it never did<\/p>\n
You see falling for you thought me that throwing yourself over the cliff of love is not scary
\nIt is exhilarating
\nIt freeing,
\nBut it never prepared me to the moment my self-esteem hit the ground
\nand shuttered into million pieces of insecurities
\nIt never told me what to do when my king sized bed starts to narrow
\nuntil it no longer fits anyone.
\nIt never showed me How to erase your details from the faces I bring with me at night.
\nInstead it got me drunk on your voicemails
\nI grind your pictures with her, and get high on a love that we never had
\nReminding myself that she is your everything
\nand I\u2019m merely a breeze of wind that crossed your path<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As your silhouette kept destroying my neatly folded thoughts I followed your shadow deep inside the cemetery of my long forgotten memories But I didn\u2019t find your grave. It was as if you blossomed into an orchid of secrets, spreading rapidly to every cell, every thought and every breath claiming them back Last time I … Continue reading “To the boy that still lingers in my dreams”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_ppma_block_editor_authors":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[3],"class_list":["post-1432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-free-verse"],"authors":[{"term_id":3,"user_id":1,"is_guest":0,"slug":"m-festaaui-ma","display_name":"m.festa@aui.ma","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/65449cb1068226a14ef9126b1a35129494d168d8031b0176a86c009da34bf92c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","author_category":"","user_url":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma","last_name":"Festa","first_name":"Monica","job_title":"","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1432"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1433,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432\/revisions\/1433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1432"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trove.aui.ma\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fppma_author&post=1432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}